Don't Look...Pity Party inside...

I know, you're thinking, what the heck are you doing up at 11:30? You dodo, you have to get up in 5 hours.

You know, it's funny how one thing leads to another in your train of thought. DH and I were watching Ax Men on History Channel. One of the guys names is Gustafson. I asked DH why everywhere else it's pronounced GUS-tafson, but it's Gus-TAF-son Farms. Which lead to dairy farms, and MacArthur Dairy. Who used to have cows on 441, who I drove by and loved to see when I was a little children...which lead to the fact that it was next to Lauderhill Mall, which lead me to a blog about shopping centers, specifically old ones, which haven't been remodeled in 30 years. Which lead people to leave comments about the Mall and surrounding areas, including the old Ground Round a few blocks away. I went to a birthday party for a classmate in 5th grade at the Ground Round.

It was the only birthday party I ever went to.

You see, I wasn't allowed to grow up and be a normal kid. Birthday parties were not allowed. When my grandmother grew up, they didn't have birthday parties. So she didn't see the fuss, so I didn't go to any. Oh, don't get me wrong, I was invited to all of them. Even though I was picked on, I think the parents felt sorry for me and wanted to make sure I was included.

There was always an excuse. "Well, we don't know so&so." I went to a small, private school, where everybody knew just about everybody. It wasn't hard to go up to someone and say "Hi, Joey's Mom, I'm Mary's Mom. I understand you're having a party, let's chat."

Or they lived to far away. I learned that anything more than 10 miles was "far away".

Or they had a pool. "Oh, my god, you might drown" Or a park "oh, my god, you might wander away and get kidnapped" (This was the 70's, well before the Adam Walsh story).

You get the picture.

I didn't have parties either. Oh, we celebrated birthdays. After dinner, we'd have cake and open presents, but it was always just my mom, step-dad and grandmother. Sometimes, not too often, if it was on a weekend, my step-mom might drop my sister off.

I did have a slumber party once. It was a disaster...fodder for another day's blog.

My sister had parties. She lived with our dad and her mom (My step-mom). I did go to a few of those. One was at the rec center across from my dad's house. Helicopter mom was there, watching my every move (I think I was 10 or 11). I bet my step-mom appreciated that.

She had a slumber party once. I think dad and step-mom stepped in and said she's staying and that's that. I don't know why they never did that for me more often. I think because they were afraid of my grandmother. And god forbid, my mother ever act like a parent and say "Hey, this is my kid, I'm in charge here".

And one year we went to a skating rink up in Palm Beach. I think my step-mom and aunt had helicopter mom distracted long enough so I could actually (GASP!) skate!!! Yeah, I never really skated. My dad and step-mom bought me a pair of skates for Christmas. But I never wore them outside the house. I would (GASP!!) fall down. I might twist an ankle, I might skin a knee. All heavens would explode if that happened. I never rode a bike either. Pretty much for the same reason.

Oh, I was oh-so-delicate (eyeroll). I had a hip condition (a condition which three different doctors said was a non-issue). I'd fall down and hurt something (Ever met a kid who didn't?) Sigh!

Yes, mom, so while you had your 20+ years of therapy, thanks for saving a little of it for your daughter. And sticking up for her once in a while. And letting her be a kid, for cryin' out loud, consequences be damned.

And such is my feeling sorry for myself tonight. Sigh!!!! Maybe now, I can get some sleep.